Vestige
by Paladin of Freedom
Summary: On the beach on Orb, Kira Yamato watches the storm clouds gather over the ocean, as he remembers the events the brought him to where he is. ONE-SHOT for a fan-fic challenge.


Kira Yamato gazed intently at the gathering storm clouds in the East. The wind was strong – a probable consequence of the ruined Junius Seven's fall from orbit was the chaotic disruption of the climate, causing ocean storms to form.

The purple eyed Coordinator took what the storm portended. Conflict was in the horizon, and Kira knew that conflict would bring suffering and death, for him and everyone in the world.

Kira understood the suffering, having lost friends and lovers in the previous war. And he blamed himself for it.

All because he was the Ultimate Coordinator.

Kira felt the anger inside him grew as he wondered why such a legacy given to him could be only achieve thru the spilling of blood. It was such as empty legacy, since it emptied his soul of all the innocence he had left, and forcibly sculpted him into manhood thru violence, bigot and hate.

He wanted nothing of the previous war. He just wanted to live in peace in Heliopolis with his family, and live a quiet life. To grow up happy, fall in love, grow old in serene contentment.

But war found him. And war revealed to him the truth of his existence.

He didn't know it then, and he wasn't even surprised he could do it. All he knew that Miriallia and his other friends were in trouble. So he took the pilot seat then. He took control of the GAT-X105 Strike and pushed the ZAFT Jinn back.

He unknowingly accepted his destiny, even though Kira didn't understand what it was and how horrible it could be. And Destiny wasn't a kind patron, for she reminded Kira over and over of his dark legacy.

He remembered when he had to kill that ZAFT pilot Miguel Aiman when Heliopolis was destroyed. It was the first blood of another human in his hands, but it was kill-or-be killed, as Kira deluded himself to fight the guilt.

He remembered when he had to fight and kill Waltfeld-san and Aisha-dono in the Sahara, and while Waltfeld-san survived and forgave him, Kira couldn't forgive himself for the pain and loss he inflicted upon his former enemy-turned-guardian when the Desert Tiger lost his lover.

Kira remembered when he had to kill Nicol Amalfi. The young pianist attacked him to rescue Athrun, but Kira was forced to destroy the Blitz and end Nicol's life. This drew the oath of vengeance from Athrun, who swore to kill Kira as payment for his friend's life.

Kira remembered when his friend Tolle died, at the hands of Athrun - his best friend, his brother, when Athrun attempted to hunt him down. He remembered the anger he felt, as his world at that moment revolved around one thing – to kill Athrun. And so he finally fought Athrun to the death – taking no quarter, giving no quarter. All vestiges of humanity left his soul then. He only thought of killing the brother he loved the most in the world. And while Kira and Athrun survived the shared ordeal, the wounds in their souls will scar the forever.

Kira remembered others who suffered in the tragic war – the innocent victims in Junius Seven, the Earth Alliance, Alaska Base, and Orb.

And then there was Mendel Four.

The interlude of the Three Ships Alliance at the abandoned space colony opened the Pandora's Box inside Kira Yamato's soul and let loose the demons inside to wreak havoc in Kira's universe. Rau La Crueset twisted that key, and wounded Kira with a mortal blow to his already bleeding existence.

Rau told Kira the truth.

That he was the Ultimate Coordinator – the highest achievement in Coordinator human genetic improvements. The epitome of Man's desire of perfection – all bought by the blood of Kira's siblings.

All fifty-four thousand twenty-four siblings. All killed and discarded so that one can live, one can strive.

Kira Yamato.

Kira struggled out of the Mendel facility, only to encounter Fllay Alster once more. Fllay – the one who loved him, the one who seduced him, the one who played him.

The one who hurt him.

She called out to him, pleading to Kira to rescue her. He tried desperately to reach her, but Destiny again unleashed its storm of weakness into his soul, and he failed to save her.

Then came Jachin Due. More deaths, more suffering, more anguish. Mu La Fllaga was killed – his most trusted friend and mentor, in an effort to save the Archangel. Athrun lost his father, killed for his misguided intentions to destroy half of humanity to save the rest.

And Fllay was lost, destroyed by Kira's weakness, killed by Kira's hesitation. The fires that consumed Fllay's body consumed what vestiges of humanity and life was left in Kira.

But Fllay came back in a vision, and gave Kira a new-found strength. Her spirit gave him the will to go on, as he defeated La Crueset for the final time, and end the war.

But the cost of victory for freedom was grave. Kira was devastated inside, and had not for Lacus' love he would have died. So he hid himself in Father Malchio's orphanage for two years, slowly healed by Lacus, with himself healing his own soul.

Now, at the beach in Orb, the memories are the one giving him strength, and the reason to continue fighting.

"Looks like a storm is coming," Lacus Clyne whispered softly, breaking the silence. Kira had sensed her silent approach from the mansion overlooking the beach, and appreciated her respect for his silent reverie. He didn't know how long she stood patiently at his side, but he could feel the intense gaze of concern coming from her.

"Hai," Kira replied, as he slid his hand into hers. "But I won't be afraid to face it anymore. The memories won't hold me back now that the future is what's at stake. Destiny and the past doesn't have the power to stop me now."


End file.
